Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Musing #5--Perspective

I was reading a book [Behind Every Good Man] a couple nights ago and it was saying how men are simple (it was written by a I feel like it's fair to reference it without people going ninja on equal rights/opportunities/whatever on me) and honey-do lists are overwhelming so they don't often attempt them and then women take over leadership rolls because they feel like the men never does anything, which takes away their man card. (Waaaaaay paraphrased) Men need one task, exits and outs, and time limits. I felt this was a little ridiculous and patronizing to the men, like they can handle a list of to dos, but whatever...he's a guy he probably knows. If you want something done give them the expected time, the amount of time you expect from them, and then lots of praise when they complete the task, let them be your hero. Ok, well I can do most of that. I didn't baby talk to my babies. (Don't get me wrong, I adore scrumptious cheeks and rubberband wrists as much as the next mom, but I'm not going to drop my 'Rs' just because I'm talking to a darling mini human) And I'm not going to over praise him for hanging curtains that have been sitting there for weeks...because that is just fake to me. (Oh ya, that was my experiment on this...the curtains that have been sitting there for weeks) I was pep talking myself into "Hey, can you use a few minutes of your lunch break to hang these curtains today please?" Because that just seemed too easy...THEY'VE BEEN SITTING THERE FOR--you to trip over after days of nagging for--TWO WEEKS! I had all but talked myself out of it, because I was frustrated with having to baby him into hanging the curtains when I ran into these gems on facebook...all of them...right in a about ten more.

The Facebook had spoken. I figured, here goes nothing. And asked him to do the curtains during his lunch. He did them. I said 'Thanks, they look great.' Not mountains of mushy praise, but a genuine thanks. And BOOM! His attitude toward me changed. I didn't have to nag. (Relief to both of us) He had my expectation--curtains up during lunch. And like the book said, it wasn't going to be unknown hours of his time--he had a job, a set time, and an exit, and, BONUS he felt appreciated. What the what? 
Last night he brought me my ice water with lemon and a cinnamon roll and a salad throughout my projecting after the kids were in bed. From curtains? I'm astonished. Really. I need another project for him so I can try this out again!

Oh the pig? Ya, nothing to do with anything, but come on...a teacup pig in miniature red rainboots...who can resist that? No one, the answer is no one!

No comments:

Post a Comment