Monday, September 26, 2016

Musing #32--Can't Deal With Narcissistic Abuse Today, So I Laundry

We found out about some more rumors and lies that are spreading about Husband's family.
A friends from literally across the country called me last night and said, 'I heard, the weirdest story.' And proceeded to tell me a complete lie about myself heard, from Husband's relative's wife's mother. That's how far these lies are being spread. She, thankfully, is the dearest of friends, and told her friend that there are two sides to every pancake and that she knows me well and knows that that story could not be true. I am grateful today for gossip stoppers. And dear friends. But I have a debilitating migraine as I try to deal with how to emotionally handle the relentlessness of his family and their attacks on my family.

This is a very mild occurrence in comparison to the many others we've dealt with, but coupled with the history, my body reacts with the fight or flight physiology and without my permission, shakes and migraines come and I just can't deal today with their hatred, lies, and abuse. I can't process anything logically when my body is in psychological protection mode, so, I've decided to laundry instead. It takes no thought--so my aching brain can just turn off, it is muscle memory--so the shakes don't matter. And, when it's all done, I have accomplished something, and they have not won my day.

All good in thought, but a tricky thing when your dryer looks like this:

The sellers of the house left all their appliances. Which was great, because then we didn't have to fork over thousands for new appliances, while reeling from a down payment. They did leave the disclaimer that the appliances were really old and may not last long. They weren't kidding. This dryer shakes and squeaks and the kids run for their ear protectors and leave the house, and I take valuables off the shelves. So Husband took it apart, thinking if we could salvage it, we could use the money for some other projects instead of a new dryer. (Good news, it looks like the wheels in it are completely replace those (like $8 each) and hopefully it will give us a few more years.)

Well, he decided to investigate the dryer while I had a load in the biggie, expect clothes left in the washer smell mildew-y and gross.

I've always wanted a clothes line, but have read the horror stories of kids tangling themselves in the wires and dying. So, we took the massive curtain rod that was in the house, with super heavy drapes (made the room feel like it was closing in on everything), and Husband hung it up, outside under the back porch. and I have a 'clothes line.' I can take it down any time, or it's high enough that I can leave it up and even Husband's height can walk under it.

I actually love it. Clothes get that fresh air smell. Don't get the pinched shoulders from clothes pins. My kids are safer. And I can take the hanger straight to the closet.

It makes me happy. And right now, I need things, little as they may seem, to boost my mood.

Are there things in your day, that have made it better? Little or big? I'd love to hear what makes your day brighter.


  1. The one thing I AM grateful to my inlaws for is having no real friends or equals that they confide in, so their, um, inaccurate perceptions are only shared with my brothers-in-law, who blow them off because they know me much better.

    On a brighter note, I aspire to have a clothesline some day. My passion is creating. For me, any day with sewing, painting, building, or crafting in it is a bright day!

    1. I'm so glad that your brother-in-laws don't listen! Good for them!
      My grandma had one of those clotheslines that spins. The suuuper old kind. I've always wanted some sort of clothesline since. I love tho create as well. I'd love to see some of your creations! It's such a happy thing.