Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Musing# 33--Fight or Flight

I'm just now realizing I very much have more of the 'fight,' than I do the 'flight.' In the fight or flight syndrome.

I always have. It comes with the territory (red hair). Dealing with narcissists is a whole different ball game than addressing regular confrontations, and it is driving me mad, because you can't fight. They have no empathy. They are master manipulators. Their world and understanding only consists of them and twisting everything to validate the image they want to portray of their lives and even our lives.

There is a website I find quite a bit of information about surviving narcissistic abuse from. https://.littleredsurvivor.com

This picture was on her FB page, and I love it.

It not only is my happy place (a beach somewhere), but the words remind me the reason there is no contact. That my drive to 'fight' and defend myself to the onslaught of lies that are being spread to hundreds (no lie there) of people about me and my family is only their effort to draw us out of the woodwork to gain back the control over us that they lost by us leaving.

Thank you, Little Red Survivor, for this. I needed it today.


  1. Hi Musing Middlywed,

    Thanks for linking to my blog. I also wish to affirm you in what you are doing because to my experience the best thing we can do with people who are not honest and twist our words is not give them anything to work with. And you are right, it is a very different type of fighting.For me, the hardest part was realizing nothing I could say could make them empathetic and honest. It was heartbreaking at first, but then a relief came over me to realize I was finally aware of what had been there all along and my knowledge had not changed it, but the difference was I had finally awakened. There are many great ways to fight--make art, make new family, make love! In time, you will become more at peace about it and of course the best revenge is always a good life. Peace and freedom to you in the journey.

    1. Thank you so much Cherilyn. I can't tell you what your words mean to me. I appreciate it so much!

  2. I'm more wired for flight, which is why I used to get so sick when my husband insisted we spend time with his parents, or when they felt it necessary to confront us about our "awful behavior" toward them. No contact is healthy and healing. Not allowing them to regai their control of your family is absolutely priceless!

    1. So true. I physically shake. My entire body shakes when we would even just try and have a conversation about them. Flight is good with narcissists. And once we got away I realized just how important. I'm sorry you have had to deal with narcissists!