Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Witness Miracles

I sit somewhat helplessly as friends and family in Houston pray fervently for rain to cease. Meanwhile, at the exact moment other friends and family are praying just as hard for rain to come stop the fires that are threatening their mountain homes.

My phone by my side texting for constant updates.

Has the water entered? Do you have power? Are you ok?

Has the fire changed direction? Do you have power? Are you ok?

It's chiming constantly. "What have you heard? Has the rain stopped?" "What have you heard? Have they gotten any rain?"

"Pray for rain!" "Pray for the rain to stop!"

And yet, with the world and weather in chaos and my heart filled with worry. The messages I see and hear from these family and friends are filled with humor, love, hope, and peace.

Why? Why, when their worlds as they know it burn down or flood are they so calm?

Prayer. God. Love. Service.

All I can do from where I sit is pray. Constantly. For these people I love. And what I hear from them is. "Thank you for your prayers. They have truly been felt and we have seen miracles."

And that is really all that can be said. God hears. He answers. And amidst the chaos, He will send peace and love. He will send angels and you will witness miracles.

Friday, August 25, 2017

I Hope She Loses

Dale started soccer.

When I asked her to get ready, I soon hear crying and whining coming from her room.

Me (after 10ish minutes): What's up?
Dale through angry tears: (exasperated gesture toward shin guards) THEY LOOK LIKE BOOTS
Me: .......................
Me: Oh. What are they supposed to look like?
Me: Do you remember what they looked like when you tried them on?
Dale: YEHhhssss (read that one phonically)
Me: Well, I'm sorry you're so disappointed, but I think you'll be glad you have them on.

(What the?)
Of all the stupid things!

I hope soccer is wonderful for her. I hope it toughens her up (in all the right ways). Shows her how important teamwork and communication is (she's kind of a bossy pants right now). And teaches her hard work and endurance. In only the way a team sport can. We have our methods, but there are some things that team sports teach way more effectively.

I'm excited for her to win some. And I'm excited for her to lose. This girl does not know how to lose. And in life, sometimes (probably mostly) you lose. And that's ok. It's really about what you do after you lose that matters most.

Thursday, August 24, 2017

This. So much this.

I think every couple, problems or not, should have a little bit of counseling. We have some friends, who received marriage counselling as their wedding gift from her parents. I'm stealing that idea.

The whole 'don't go to bed angry' stuff is crap. Couples who fight? Great! No problem!

I read this. You should too. It is 6 Healthy Relationship Habits Most People Think are Toxic. It is brilliantly worded and put so many of my rambling thoughts into place.

If the link doesn't open I posted the article on my Facebook Page here

Let them live

I'm not one of those moms who hangs on to summer for all it's worth.

I actually try to be.

I'm not.

I'm actually just as giddy as they are for the first day of school.

I await it with eager anticipation. For that moment to watch my kiddos run up to school, greet friends, turn back, and (with surprising loudness) yell "I LOVE YOU MOOOOMMM!"

It wasn't always this way. I cried the first day...possibly week...maybe more...dropping them off at preschool, and even kindergarten. But this year, I almost made a paper chain to count down the days.

Do I love them less than those who want them by their side constantly? I had a little mom guilt about how excited to send them to school I was. Until the first day of school came, and I was just as excited for them to come back from school and hear all about it.

I was excited to make cookies and excited to hear about their conquers and their fails.

I've decided, after all we've learned over the past two years about the damage Husband's parents have done, that I want my kids to live. I want to be a part of it, but I do not want to control it.

I want to share the happy and embrace the sad, but I do not want to own the happy and erase the sad.

Their lives are theirs to live, and I'm so proud to watch them run up to that school, and I'm so happy they run just as fast back to me...but no way do I want to chain them back from either of those things.

Live kidlets. Enjoy life and live...and eat cookies!

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Remember, it's worth it.

A picture popped up on my personal Facebook newsfeed today. It was of the kidlets the day we drove away from our old house to start our journey that kind of started the unravelling of everything (which then started the excruciating reweaving of our lives).
Their sweet faces were in complete and utter pain and sadness at leaving their home.
I saw that picture and remembered. I remembered how hard it was to leave. I remembered the tears, the long hugs, the love, the sadness, the anxiety. I remembered all the emotions of leaving behind home and going into something I knew would be hard.
Little did I know just how hard.

But then I look at today.
Today was the first day of school.
Exactly two years later.
My kids' faces are full of light. Full of laughter. Full of love.
They literally ran to get to school.

They have great friends, great teachers, a great school, and are happy.

All the pain. All the tears. All the hard. It's worth it.

Pictures and the memories that come along with them that are painful, help me appreciate days like today even more. And help me remember why I'm fighting. It's so worth it.